Sex in Chicago
By Kim O’Brien
Ever since my divorce I have been TOTALLY bored with relationships and stuff, but you guys know that. So I have been thinking about dating recently and it finally crossed my mind that these little mini trials that you have with new people and stuff, where you get together for drinks or something in one of my Chicago’s MANY hot spots, and then you like examine and cross examine every little thing that you can in the time it takes for your food to come out or your drinks to make you too tipsy for your own good and stuff and you’re just hoping that this person hasn’t found out anything horrible about you from their questioning and stuff and we’re all just big old slaves to stupid conventions that make us MISERABLE? Well, I don’t think that that stuff bothers me as much anymore. I don’t think that I mind talking to new people in that way now because I’m not worried AT ALL about whether or not they like me so much, you girls know what I’m talking about? It’s like, if they don’t like me then they REALLY ARE DOING ME A FAVOR by not wanting to be around me, lol! And that isn’t even ego talking or whatever, it’s just true! I have a totally limited time on this earth and stuff and the less time that I have to spend with mean people or ugly bridge trolls that don’t like the way I dress, THE BETTER! LOL! They’re saving me the break up once I realize that we shouldn’t be like hanging out together and stuff because I’m not having fun when I’m around them and stuff! I used to be SUCH a slave to whoever I was seeing too, so this is a total change in my mental state and stuff you guys! I bet it’s because I’m so much older then I was before I got married to that shrew and her boring country club. You know, it was like, at some point I stopped worrying about hiding who I was, and then at some point after that I stopped worrying about the people that I didn’t even WANT to associate with! LOL! Right? I mean, those people can totally take care of themselves, it’s not like they need me or anything, and why should I have to beat my head against a brick trying to talk to them and stuff? Chicago is a big huge place and there are TONS of people here that you can talk to! YOU don’t HAVE TO SETTLE for hanging out with people that make you hate yourself and stuff, girls! SO, what that all comes down to is, girlfriends, you should treat dating like you’re an old drag queen! LOL! Because when you stop worrying about finding Mr. Big and start just enjoying your time in Chicago, your life TOTALLY becomes SO. MUCH. BETTER! LOL!